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BLUE
a love story

by Briana Lynn

Illustration by Sara Dunn

Missing you got a texture;
a mass; and its own moon






It don't hurt

but its dense--

sunk              

down

at         the  

bottom         
of            me
warm;          

curling;          
and  cramped 
up     between
soft                
tissue.      It
don't hurt but
I feel it there, 

                    pressing.     


   



I   remember   Blooming.

Your  hands  between  my

legs felt like                    

                           Blues.






I liked to make love when I

was speechless so that you

could  reach in and  wrap

around the mute thing.   I

felt like pepper when you

were through with me; or

like glitter, and as ground

up as static noise.            






We were      
folded          
and    tucked
into        one
another   like
braids           
or love letters
or                  
newborn fists
Too    sweaty
and           too
curious         to
mind  that  we
had              to
hold          our
              breath
        sometimes
to fit right,     
and that our     
teeth               
banged a little 
when              
we       kissed.


Then there was the time you

tasted different;   and   the   

time I saw you and thought,

my how you've grown;    and 

the night I woke up hot and

you  woke   up   tugging  at

your    waist    because    the

thing we were wearing was

too small.                            

Doubt



Shows up
quietly
    and
       unannounced
            and
                uninvited
                    and
                        foreboding
                            and
                                permanent

as gray hair.



      Doubt



                                            grows humid and soft



                                                                             In the wood floor.






I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love

would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned

making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix

it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love

would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned

making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix

it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love

would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned

making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix

it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love

would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned

making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix

it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love

would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned

making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix

it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love

would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned

making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix

it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love

would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned

making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix

it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making love would not fix it I learned making lo         






We were pressed against

incongruence  like  glass,

window             shopping

and clawing at one another.



Exhausted, because we

were                      not

each      other's      first

language.                    



Can't   nothing  be   done

to            a            sunset

Our                      mouths

were  bulldozers  by  then.






So we faced dus k,                                                           
hand in hand, daydrea mi n g                                         
at the edge of a clif f,                                                      
with something new and slim y be tween ou r p a l m  s
about, "I Love   Yo u"                                                    
when it so un  d e   d                                                     
like a pate n t                                                                
and a tradem                                                                 
ar                                     
k.   





                 

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Briana Lynn is currently an MFA candidate in Cross-Disciplinary Literary Arts at Brown University. She works at the intersection of a literary and visual practice. She's worked as a contributing writer for Okayplayer and exhibited at Bronzeville Art Lofts, The Silver Room and the Perry and Marty Granoff Center for the Creative Arts.